Saturday, 31 May 2008

Rollercoaster

I did warn you all that this lymphoma business was a roller-coaster of emotion didn't I? I did mention that one day can be very different from the next, and it would be a tough ride from time to time. Yes..I am sure I did...

Well, I have just been to see Ben Vet cos the past few days haven't been great. I have been fairly bright, no signs of pain but my food intake has dropped again - I eat but not enough, not even close. I beg for food, but then turn my nose away when I get given it. I am dry-retching about once a day...and on top of that, once a day, I bring up a clear liquid. My Meowmie also noticed yesterday that I felt really skinny again - Ben Vet weighed me and I am down to 2.6kg (5.5lbs), I was 2.95kg (6.5lb) a week ago. I have never, ever been this thin. This is not good at all. I still look pretty though (apart from the bit where they stole my blood)...no?:



Ben Vet had a feel around my tummy and confirmed that he could not feel the lymphoma anymore...but something is obviously preventing me from eating properly, and causing the retching and weight loss. Is it the chemotherapy side effects making me feel less than 100%? Maybe it is the damage caused by the lymphoma and chemo treatment? Maybe the lymphoma is in another part of my body now, such as my bone marrow (tests for this are too invasive and any treatment needed would be too much for me to cope with)? Maybe it is something else we can't detect...?

Ben Vet and my Meowmies are doing everything they can for me. I am being treated for chemo side effects (nausea, loss of appetite, acidy guts) and I am taking a combination of drugs which *should* be helping to make me eat and should alleviate any uncomfortableness I may be feeling. As of today I am now taking the appetite stimulants Periactin daily and Mirtazapine every 3rd day; a Prednisolone steroid daily; and a daily Losec capsule to help my guts should they be feeling uncomfortable.

Whilst I currently remain fairly bright and interactive with Castle and my Meowmies, if I don't respond as expected to these drugs over the next few days, and start to eat and gain strength, then it is highly likely something else is wrong and my quality of life will lessen which is not acceptable...and I also won't be allowed chemo either as I won't be strong enough to deal with it.

Ben Vet said that we need to prepare ourselves for some difficult decision-making if things don't improve over the next few days. The Meowmies agreed and asked Ben Vet - when the time eventually came- whether he would come to the house and help take me to The Rainbow Bridge, he said he would, but he would be upset and 'a mess' too. I hope Castle will be OK when I have to go to The Bridge...I am very worried that he will be lonely without me.

The next milestone that I had set myself (apart from Karl & Ruis' wedding) is tomorrow - seeing my Meowmie cross the finish line in the City of London 5km race that she is dedicating to me, I reckon I will reach that particular milestone...and beyond that I shall keep fighting for as long as my body lets me, of that, be sure! I hope I can eat and get strong again over the next few days!

Love Stormie
xxx

62 comments:

Texas said...

Oh poor Stormie! Has Ben Vet talked to your Meowmie about more syringe feedies? Or maybe a different anti-nausea drug? Zofran works great for me!
-Texas (typed by his mommy Kat)

Daisy said...

Oh Stormie, you are so brave and beautiful! I wish with all my might there was something I could do to help you feel better. I will keep purring for you and thinking of you. Please try your very hardest to eat, okay? Thanks for keeping us updated on how you are doing.

Good luck to your mom on her race!

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Oh Stormie, we feel for you and your family. This is such a hard place to be and decisions such as these are always tough. Purrs to you and yours.

Aoise said...

Thinking of you Stormie and Castle and your miewmies. Luf Aoise

Lux said...

You look absolutely gorgeous, Storm! I'm hoping with you about the eating ...

Love,
Lux

Kaze, Latte, & Chase said...

stormie you are so brave and I would be with you holding your paw if I could. Good luck to your mom!

Charlemagne and Tamar said...

Stormie,

We so hope that you get to feeling better soon. Your Meowmie and Castle want you to stay with them a lot longer.

We're sending purrs and headbutts to help.

Sunny's Mommy said...

You look absolutely beautiful in your photo, as always :-) I'm praying the change in medication helps you to eat. It's so important right now.

Best of luck to your Meowmie in her race tomorrow.

The Furry Kids said...

Stormie, you look beautiful. You are so brave. Try to eat something, ok? You and your moms and Castle are in our prayers. Please tell your mom to run like the wind tomorrow.

Princess said...

Stormie. I do not know what to say, I am sad that you are not doing well but I certainly do not want you to suffer. I know that Caesar would be there waiting at a moments notice... and I am comforted to know that both of you will be there for me.
*sniff* I detest thinking about this. I am saddened that you have this awful disease.
I will be purring for your meowmie tomorrow running like a champ. She will be strong for you.
Stormy, rest well. You are soo much loved by all of us and we are thinking much about your meowmies and Castle.

*crying* I do not want to let you go, but I also know that your body is the one in charge here now.
I love you Stormiekins, never forget that.

Purrs and love forever
Princess

Parker said...

Stormie,
I know that your Meowmie will run with angel wings tomorrow. She only has to think of how hard you are fighting to run against this awful disease.
All of us in O Hi O keep praying that you will continue your fight.
We love you Stormie.
Smooches and purrs,
P.P.and family

Chairman Mao said...

Oh, Stormie! My heart goes out to you, my beeyootiful and brave and sweet furriend, my eyes are getting leaky and so are Mom's. We will be thinkin about yur Momma in her race, and we are sendin out strongest healin purrs to you, sweet girl. We hope with all our hearts and souls that you can rally, and eat and gain some strength. Please know that our hearts and our love are with you fureffur.

Healing purrs x a billion squillion inifinity to you, my furriend Stormie -- we Ballicai love you so muchies! And I'm MAOin with alla my might fur you to eat, eat, eat!

So much love, and huge kittyhugs and purrs from MaoMaoMaoMaoMaoMAO MAO MAO!!!!!!!

Marilyn MonREOW said...

Dearest Stormie, please know I am purring with all my might for you to pull through yet again, and to eat well and get strength back. You're such an incredibly inspirational, gorgeous, courageous ladycat, and we Ballicai are honored to be your friends.

Sending my heart full of love to you, dear friend, and to your sweet Mom. Good luck to her in her race.

Purring as hard as I can for the return of Chicken Face!

Worlds of love and healing purrs and snuggles from Marilyn.

Poppy Q said...

Awwwwww Stormy you made my mum spring a big leak. We are so sad that things are turning tough for you my sweet friend.

We know your mum will be running fast to return home to snuggle with you.

Sending you thousands of hugs and smooches from across the oceans.

Poppy and mum Q

ML said...

Beautiful Storm, all of us Sherwood Bunch cats are purring and purraying for you and your family. We love you and admire you so much. Such a fighter you are.
KC put up special posts on the Pet Purrs and Purrayers blog and on the Cat Blogosphere (with Parker's help) for you. I also included you in my Easy Like Sunday Morning post.
Loves and Kisses,
Missy Blue Eyes
(and you know I don't say that very often, Storm)

pee ess: Your Mom will run like the wind tomorrow, just for you.

THE ZOO said...

we hope yoo get back ta eetin and feel better soon. yur still a very beyootiful gurl efun wiff tha weight loss.

Mickey said...

Oh Storm!!!! I wish There was something I could do to make you better. We all care about you and want the best for you. We will purr as hard as we can for you.
Good luck to your Mom :)
Purrs Mickey,Georgia ,Tillie & the Mom

The Cat Realm said...

Storm dearest - you are fighting so hard and we wish we could do something to help you! We do purr like CRAZY all the time - even Karl and Ruis during their wedding - we hope things will turn around.
We love you Storm!
Emil and Mrs. OZ
Karl is on his honeymoon with Ruis, we know he loves you too!

Smeagol & Strider (Mystery & Gizmo too!) said...

Beautiful Storm, we continue to purr our furry hardest for you to start feelin' better and eatin'.
We're sendin' purrs for your Meowmie in her race, too, she'll do great!!

MISS PEACH >(^.^) said...

My beloved Stormie...my tiny heart is breaking so much for you dear brave girl. Mommy feels so helpless knowing you are not eating. All she wants to do now is feed ME! I only weigh 4.5 pounds but have always been tiny.
I will purrrr and purrray my very hardest for you to get some food into your tummy again.
You are such a brave inspiration to all of kitties. Marilyn said it so well...
I know you are worried about Castle being lonely...he will have all of us to be by his side...do not worry yourself too much dear.
This is so very hard for all of us who love you so much.
Your adoring Miss Peach

Asta said...

Stormie
You awe such a vewy bwave and incwedibly bootiful Kitty..youw concewn fow youw bwuvvew and Mom is making me leak out of my eyes,,you must be a vewy sweet giwl..fight a good fight(which you have obviously been doing), but know that youw family and fwiends wouldn't want you to suffew and would wathew help you cwoss ovew the bwidge so you can wait fow them thewe
smoochie healing kisses
ASTA

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Oh Stormie, we are purring and purraying so hard for you. We wish we could fix this for you, and make it so no one would ever get this awful disease again. We'll be thinking of you and Castle and your mom as she runs the race against this monster...please eat sweety and get stonger, we know it's hard but you must do it. Please.

Dragonheart & Merlin said...

Oh, Stormie, we are so sad to hear that you aren't doing well. :( We are purring and praying hard for you! We hope that you start eating again and that you beat this horrible lymphoma.

We are thinking of your mom and purring for her as she runs her race!

We love you, Storm, and we are purring and praying our hardest for you.

Karen Jo said...

Oh, Storm, I am so sad to hear that you haven't been doing well lately. I am praying with all my might that you will start eating again. I am sure that your Mom will run like the wind tomorrow. Please get better.

HRH Yao-Lin said...

storm this is too much to bear.

I am praying for you, really really praying.

Sending you hugs and kisses over the internet

xx

MoMo said...

I am purring and purring for you and for your family.
Hugssssss to all of you!

goldenshade said...

Purring for you all.
{{{hugs}}} from across the pond.

~Goldie and Shade

Gandalf & Grayson said...

Stormie, you are the most amazing girl! We are prring & praying for you and your Meowmy!

jane said...

Stormie I am sending you, Castle and your Meowmies lot of love and my four cats are sending you big strong, harmonic purrs to help you get over these down days. Lymphoma is such a rotten git of a disease, and you have all done so well to come this far. You are a most amazing and beautiful Siamese girl, you keep fighting baby! xx

PS: Very best of luck to your Meowmie in the big race!

Alexi said...

Stormie, we at the Castle are purring for you to get well and we are rooting for your Meowmie in the big race. You keep fighting, you lovely girl.

All our love,
Alexi, Molly, Mallory, Evita, Dani, Herbie, and the rest of the crew at Krasota Castle

Sabrina, Sam and Simon said...

Stormie, we are purring and purraying so hard that things will take a turn for the better, and that you will be able to take in some foods. Us and Momma think about you all of the time, and right now it is kinda hard for Momma to type for us because her eyes are leaking so bad. We hope your Meowmie does well in her race, and send you, Castle and both of your Meowmies our heartfelt love.
Purrs, headbutts and hugs,
Sabrina, Sam, Simon and Momma

The Taylor CatSSSSS said...

We are purring and praying for you.

Riley & Tiki said...

Stormie, we are purring and purraying our hardest for you. Purrrrrrrrrrrrr
Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Kaz's Cats said...

Storm, we're purring and purraying and sending you positive thoughts so that you start eating better.

Sending you purrs and kittyhugs,

Gypsy & Tasha & Kaz (Mum)

Charlotte said...

Storm - Parker told me about you. I'm purring for you big time! Hope you start eating a little soon. It'll help you get stronger! You're a fighter!

Love Charlotte x

The Meezers said...

oh Stormie, you brave, beautiful, wonderful girl. We are so very sorry that things are not going well. we hopes you doesn't haf to go to the Bridge, but if you does, we know that you will be watching over Castle and your Meowmies and all the rest of us in the blogosphere. We loves you Stormie and we is purring hard for you

Team Tabby said...

Storm, we are sending as much love, hugs and prayers as we can to you, so you will get better.

Hugs to Castle and your beans, too.

Mindy & Moe

The Lee County Clowder said...

Oh, Stormie. We are purrring and purraying for you.

Get better, please. Your Meowmie is gonna need you to help her recover from this 5K race.

Sweets the Cat said...

Oh Stormie. You are in my purrrrs. And you are still one of the most beautiful kitties I have ever seen.

Ariel said...

Sweet Stormie,

I am always thinking of you.You are a very strong and brave kitty.Me and mom will continue to pray for you...
Love and Hugs Ariel and her mom

Forty Paws said...

Bless your heart Stormie. You keep hanging in there, ok? We're sending you tons of purrs and hugs.

Luf, Us

michico*Adan said...

Dearest Storm,
You are so strong and brave, I am so so honored to standing here for you. I am praying and purring to you every single day while I thinking of you!!!
You are so great!!!

Purr,
Adan

Derby said...

Purrs Stormie to both you and your mum. Thinking of you lots.

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Oh, Storm, we hope this is just one of the downs of your treatment. You have a very loving family and vet, so we know they will do whatever is best for you.

We're sending purrs and tail wags to encourage you.

Hugs

Dr Tweety of da Fab Five said...

Dear Storm,

Our heartsez & our purrzez iz wit you. Dear beootyfull meezer gurl, we wants you to nots has to struggull wit dis lymphoma stuffee, but we iz so impressed by your courage & your dedycashun to your fambly. We iz sendin' 20 pound bagzez of L-O-V-E.

-Dr Tweety

Moi ;) said...

{{{Hugs and purrs and prayers for Stormie & your Meowmie}}} Stormie, you are a very brave kitty, I will have you all in my thoughts & purrrayers...

Jimmy Joe said...

Oh no, Stormie, I am so sorry to hear that the scary chemo is making you feel so bad. I hope all of those special drugs that Dr. Ben is giving you start to make you feel better soon so you can enjoy your foods and get your weight back up. You look beautiful despite all of your suffering. I am sending you lots of purrs and furs to get better, and to wish your momma good luck in her race.
Your buddy, Jimmy Joe

Marilynn said...

Storm, we are purring and praying for you to feel better.

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs...

Marilynn, Grace & Company

muffinmidi said...

Stormie, we're purraying for you.
We love you. Please eat.Even if you don't feel like it, you need the calories.Take care.

Mr. Echo said...

Oh Stormie, I am so very verry sorry. I just want to share sum purrs. Purrs for you and your mums. Purr purr purr purr purr.

Marilyn MonREOW said...

Darling Stormie, the most beautiful Siamese cat in the world, and the bravest, too. I just wanted to come back today and purr and purr and purr for you -- I hope you are having a better day today, sweetheart, and eating more. You are in my heart, and I am sending worlds of love and hope and comfort to you!

Purrs and snuggles and much love from Marilyn.

Chairman Mao said...

Stormie! We Ballicai are back -- we're all tellyporting ofur to see you and cuddlin up and around you and purrin our furry hardest and strongest healin purrs fur you to regain yur appetite and eat and get strongur! Hang in there, preshus gurl. I hope today is a bettur day fur you. We love you so much!

Kittyhugs and purrs and love and hope frum MaoMao and the Ballicai!

HotMBC said...

PUrrrrrrrrs
PUrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs
PUrrrrrrrrrrrs
Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrs
Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs
Luf,
Alla Us

Katie & Da Katz said...

Cans you eat Peeple baby food? Whens Ize sickee and dont wants to eats nuffin, Mawmee gives me Delmonte baby turkee. I licks dat sums.

Also, our vettie putz a fluid pack under our skin to helps wif dehydration. Ifns you needs the actshul name of the fluid pack, we can gets it fur you.

Purrs frum the Whole Gang at
Kat-Renee Purrductions

-Spunky Boo Boo,
A Fighter from three days old...

Donny and Marie and Casey said...

Stormie,

I am so sad that I was away for sooooo long, and then I come back and find out that you aren't feelin' so hot. I hope that you will eat more and get stronger. I'm purring hard for ya!

~Casey

Lorianna said...

Oh sweet Stormie honey, I am so sorry you still feel so yucky. Miss Peach has a beautiful post up for you today. I have been thinking of you when I light candles. You are so beautiful and my nose is sniffely and my eyes teary thinking of you so sick. Please eat! I know it's hard honey. I hope your mommies are ok and your dear brother too. I know they love you with all their hearts.
You are in my warmest thoughts. Sending Love to You,
Lorianna and her three kitties

Cats~Goats~Quotes said...

Our dear Stormie, we are continuing to keep you and your Meowmies in our prayers.

~ Noah, The Bunch and The Mom

Eric and Flynn said...

Storm, you beautiful girl, we are purring and purraying for you. Please try and eat and get some of your strength back.We are sending (((hugs))) to you and your family, and we hope your mum had a good race today.

Samantha & Tigger said...

Oh Stormie, dear sweet girl we are purring and purraying for you to feel better! Please eat a lot and gain back your strength!! ((((((((((((Hugs from all of us)))))))))))))!!
Your FL Furiends,

Kelly Cat said...

Our feel-better vibes and purrayers are going out to you, Furry Fighter.

DEBRA said...

Storm
You and your Mom are definitely both very brave fighters. We have kept you both in our purrs and we wanted to let you know that you are in our thoughts...

We thought this unknown quote really hit the mark of the relationship between you and your Mom




"Sometimes in life, you find a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being a part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship. When you're down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times and the confused times. If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry. You have a forever friend, and forever has no end." ~ Unknown

loving purrs
Abby
Boo
Ping
Jinx
Gracie and Mom Debra

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